Sadness

The walls we build to keep out sadness also keeps joy out.

Sadness as we all know is an emotional pain associated with feelings of despair, melancholy, disadvantage, sorrow and so on. 

As per our human nature, we try our utmost best to flee from this emotion so much so that we shut people and things out of our lives and slowly we turn ourselves into islands and shadows of our former selves. 

During my youth, I came across a classmate who "seemed" to be happy all the time, but the moment you mention or ask about her family, she turns sour. Long story short, her family was a sour topic for her to bring up, her family issues should have been a good enough reason for her to have an aloof attitude like what most people resort to but No, she held on and decided to find happiness in other things likes; spending time with friends and never gave room for sorrow. 

She did not build walls and each time I thought of what she might have gone through, it made me reminisce on my own sad experience and how lethargic I was because a friend broke my trust. Well, we all have a story to tell, and some insane reasons as to why we decide to detach ourselves from the others, claiming that when you stay away from trouble, trouble will stay away from you and in turn you won't have any reason to be sad". 

When we get hurt by the ones we care about, we automatically begin to build walls, unhitching ourselves from them in attempt to protect ourselves from further hurt. It begins with trying to block I one person and before we know it, are blocking and kicking everyone out of our lives. Before long, we find ourselves turning into a sad and lonely person without a clue as to how we got there. 

The same measures we put in place in attempt to keep the hurt out begins taking our joy because human interaction is based on trust and if we are always wary of everyone, then we won't have time to enjoy the spoils of life. No matter how we try, life isn't as good without the company of the ones we love and trust. Thereafter the same feeling we were trying to escape finds us: that feeling of melancholy engulfs us, leaving us sad continuously skeptical about everyone else.

However, with time I came across other persons who made me realize that people will always hurt your but does it mean you have to remain fixated in that past? No, you just have to let it go. I took the advice and I forgave my friend, although we didn't remain friends. 

I also learnt to trust again but this time I was cautious about who I trusted. With this new philosophy, I slowly became happy again: a feeling my walls had pushed so far away from me. It felt like a heavyweight was being lifted off my shoulders and I won't lie, it felt good.

To cut the long story short, there will always be a moment of sadness in everyone's life and it's up to each and every one of us to decide whether to move on so as to be happy again, or sit back and let melancholy fill our life. 

We all experience sadness, although the gravity of sadness varies with each individual but our recovery from this feeling solely depends on us. You could either let this feeling of melancholy fill us and make us bitter about everything or you can let go, accept reality, learn from it and move on. For everyone has the capacity to hurt and bring happiness into our lives. 

The ball is now in your court, make the right decision.